There is a gut wrenching sickness that comes with quiet desperation. To look at you days and see them filled with obligations which take precedent over your purpose, is a slow and gradual heartbreak.
Even in a new job that allows me one day off per week, (to take care of other obligations) a job that I care about deeply... I know that letting my art and writing take a backseat, is taking a toll on me as a person. I am working hard to make sure that those I love are taken care of, just as the hard work, means that I rarely get to see them. My subscription to MS Office, and subsequently MS Word, lapsed in late March. I have been unable thus far to put up the money to resubscribe. I would have typed this in that program otherwise. I want to return to writing. I want to make it full time. There are simply too many other things that have to come first. I am heartsick. I am unwell in my gut. I am flailing in disguise... and I wish it weren't so. I care about my stories. I will return to them at the first opportunity. That opportunity just isn't possible yet, and I am sorry.
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AuthorDani RainingCrow Lebeaux Archives
May 2021
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